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Yesterday, I was a dynamic, vibrant young thing, keen to pursue my third career and so ALIVE. Today, I decided to have a jacuzzi bath in a hotel I’d booked to celebrate my husband’s 65th birthday weekend.  As I sat down in the tub (I’ve been accustomed to showering for the last 20 years),    I realised with absolute certainty that I would not be able to get out of the bath.  I’m now 68, you see, with an osteoarthritic left knee, and my right knee is not much better. Being unable to exit a bathtub will sound absurd if you’re not my age and have never suffered the pain of an afflicted knee.  It seemed ludicrous to me. And unbelievable.  And sure enough, as I tried to leave the bath, I could not stand. I panicked and perspired.  I pushed and propelled.  No way was it going to work!  Two grab rails on the side of the bath gleamed with promise.  Nope.  My upper body strength wouldn’t support me.  My fear of dislocating my knee was so great I was shaking with dread. I had visions of two strong men being summoned to lift me, in my naked glory,  from the bath, and the visions were not erotic, let me assure you. I decided there and then that if I could not exit the bath under my own steam, I’d check into Dignitas immediately.  And at that moment, I did not feel I was being dramatic.  The indignity!  The shame!  How had I been reduced to this? With a supreme effort, I grasped the grab rail on the wall, pushed myself onto my hind legs, and—thank the Lord! I was upright!  This must be how I felt as a toddler!  Hurrah! I reluctantly shared what happened with my lovely husband, who empathised (my preference was to stay silent and let him believe I was invulnerable). Still, I could tell he didn’t really understand how indescribably scary the episode had been. Getting old is not a cakewalk, folks.  It’s hard. More challenging than you can imagine when you have your health and strength.   It’s a shock to the system.  Only yesterday, I thought I was strong and invincible. When I say yesterday, perhaps it was four years ago.  I know it was because it was the year before COVID-19 hit the headlines when I was a youthful 64. But time flies, and even though, at that time, when I was smugly walking the earth thinking I’d live with all of my faculties until the day I suddenly and somewhat wonderfully dropped dead, I now realise that perhaps there’s a slow decline in store for me, as for so many.  Ageing.  The great leveller.

In the wake of the publicity around Prince Harry’s book ‘Spare’, and the allegation that Prince William accused his brother of being ‘brainwashed by therapy’, I’m tempted to say ‘if only!’. On the other hand, I have some sympathy with Prince William’s alleged viewpoint. Let’s unpack this subject. Firstly, why do I say ‘if only’? I’m being facetious by saying if it were so easy brainwash our clients perhaps we’d save them a lot of time and money. It isn’t easy sitting for weeks, months or years at a time whilst a client purports to desire a change in behaviour whilst doing the opposite. But having attended therapy for years, I know my own changes were not easy. And I’m so grateful that my therapist never exhibited frustration at my resistance. Just as you wouldn’t push a little child into the deep end of a swimming pool without arm bands and lots of encouragement, nor would any therapist worth their salt try to crash through a client’s defences - developed for good reasons, usually in childhood - and attempt to force a change before they were ready. When change happens, it often happens incrementally. This is due to the nature of the brain and the ego (who we believe ourselves to be) and the ego’s astonishing will to survive intact. Making change is difficult. Period. Good psychotherapists put aside their own agenda and take the view that they don’t know what’s best for the client. The client knows what’s best for themselves. At some level they know. And although it might sometimes appear that wrong choices are being made, therapists must hold a position of humility and curiosity. We may wonder with the client what might happen downstream if they were to make this or that decision, and so on. But we need to remember that the client has a soul and that soul has its journey and what may look like a mistake to us might be the perfect healing journey that client needs to undertake in order to develop a particular quality or set of qualities to help them become more whole. To individuate. Gestalt therapy refers to the process of individuation (or becoming whole) as ‘selfing’. Selfing is a dynamic process. So, when we respond in the same old way to challenging situations (choosing to avoid confrontation, for example, or choosing full-scale confrontation as opposed to calm dialogue), we are in a very real sense avoiding our wholeness. When we take a leap of faith and choose a different way of responding to challenges, we are ‘selfing’ - taking a step towards becoming whole. So, back to Prince William’s alleged viewpoint - can therapists brainwash clients? Can they influence their clients? Of course! People can be influenced by many things - nature, nurture, our experiences, our friendship groups, what we choose to read and so on. So when we are in crisis and reach out and find a therapist in whom we place our trust - yes, of course there is the potential for undue influence. Psychotherapy training is about not influencing our clients. It’s about providing the right environment, holding space and allowing clients to find their own, best way forward. Ideally, we therapists are like Sherpa guides - we know the terrain, we have plenty of experience of the territory in all kinds of weather, we can to some extent suggest the best paths to take. But we don’t direct or decide. The route, the speed, the stops en-route, changes of direction - all these are the client’s decisions. We assist the explorer as best we can. In the therapy process, we do this by asking open questions (questions not requiring a yes/no answer) and allowing the client to explore their inner and outer worlds without interference from outside influences. However, some people are very receptive, searching for somebody authoritative to make decisions on their behalf. This can be alluring for some therapists and there’s a need to avoid being unconsciously recruited by clients wishing for this.

As the year draws to a close, I offer you my first blog. What’s on my mind today? Love - and dogs. On Boxing Day my neighbour, his little Staffordshire terrier in its harness, ready for a walk, waved goodbye to a couple of Christmas guests in their car. As he strode off the dog turned around and stared, aghast, at the visitors’ car about to leave. His daddy gently tugged on the lead to encourage him to keep walking and the dog pushed his paws into the road in a Disney stop. “No!” (I voice-overed) “I thought we were all going together! I don’t want to go with just you daddy!”. No stiff upper lip. No promises of not leaving it so long in future. No “Phew, thank God that’s over for another year…”. Just genuine doggy remorse that his expectations were not met. Thirty seconds later, he was feeling better as he sniffed the local lamppost for new and interesting smells. The resilience! Today I’ve been watching dogs in the park. Not one without its tail wagging. Each and every one seemingly thrilled to meet new friends, old friends, two-legged and four-legged, it seems to matter not. Everything is a source of amazement, but not for long. Then they’re onto the next amazing thing with barely a backward glance. How much easier life would be if we could be more dog. Relishing the moment, throwing ourselves into relationships with complete abandon. Grieving endings briefly and then moving on to the next lamppost. I know we can’t. I know the human brain is more complex and it needs to reconfigure itself after a loss. I get it. But as I prepare to say goodbye to 2022, I’ll be looking for my own metaphorical new lampposts. Grateful to have had 2022 when so many didn’t make it through. Intent upon relishing 2023 with every ounce of my being. Wishing everyone who reads this a Happy New Year and leaving you with the words of Meher Baba (February 25, 1894–January 31, 1969) Love is essentially self-communicative: Those who do not have it catch it from those who have it. True love is unconquerable and irresistible; and it goes on gathering power and spreading itself, until eventually it transforms everyone whom it touches. Lynn

Recognising mental health issues and then finding a counsellor sometimes isn’t an easy process. With this in mind, my website is designed to provide an understandable overview of the world of psychotherapy and counselling to help you take the first step towards a life of positive mental health. Workshops Introduction I run a number of workshops for members of the public as well as for professional CPD. Please come back and check this page regularly to see what workshops are planned or simply Contact Me for more information. Information about current workshops is detailed and most are held in Central or West London but I’m happy to consider travelling to other locations on request. Workshops A Matter of Life and Death This two-day workshop is designed for those working with the subject of dying, death and bereavement. Our beliefs about death and dying affect how we live - to fear death is to fear life. It follows therefore that to embrace life to the full we must first come to terms with loving, loss of all types, and bereavement. Through experiential and creative exercises we will explore the subject of death. We'll examine losses we may have experienced in our lives so far, and what we have learned. During the workshop, we'll be drawing on the works of some of the great teachers including the Dalai Lama, Stephen Levine, Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Deepak Chopra, Rumi, and others. And for those of us who work as therapists, we’ll be asking - how can we help others in their suffering? And how can we help others if we have unfinished grief of our own? £290 Price is per person for a 2-day workshop inclusive of course materials. Download Leaflet Book Your Workshop Place Workshop - A Matter of Life and Death Addictions A 2-day workshop, part-lecture and part-experiential, aimed at counsellors, psychotherapists, students of counselling and psychotherapy, life coaches, trainers, and members of the public. I have over 30 years’ experience in the field of addiction. This exciting workshop is designed to get to the root of the addiction and help the layperson understand their addiction and student and graduate counsellors and psychotherapists assist people suffering from this debilitating condition. Download Leaflet Book Your Workshop Place Balancing the Chakras This workshop is open to members of the public and interested professionals. Discover the psychological aspects of the chakras and the art of chakra balancing. When the chakras are out of balance, the liberating and manifesting currents of the life force are blocked, causing many symptoms. This workshop offers a solution to this, helping you break free from repetitive patterns of behaviour. Drawing on the works of Anodea Judith, Caroline Myss, Alexander Lowen and others, this workshop offers a comprehensive approach to chakra balancing, addressing the psychological, physical, and spiritual aspects. You will learn various techniques, including massage (clothed), sound and breath work, targeted yoga postures (nothing demanding and no pressure for those who don’t wish to engage for health reasons), and more. £290 Price is per person for a 2-day workshop inclusive of course materials. Download Leaflet Book Your Workshop Place CBT Made Easy (with a touch of the transpersonal) A popular workshop since 2002, continually revised and updated. This weekend workshop is part lecture and part experiential and is aimed at counsellors, psychotherapists, students of counselling and psychotherapy, life coaches, trainers, and members of the public. £350 Price is per person inclusive of course materials. Download Leaflet Book Your Workshop Place Workshop - Gestalt and the Dreaming Body Gestalt and the Dreaming Body Prepare for an exciting two-day experiential workshop on the Dreaming Body, designed for counsellors, psychotherapists and student practitioners. Unlock the potential of your dreaming body with this unique two-day experiential workshop. Drawing on gestalt and process-oriented psychotherapeutic techniques, you will learn how to use a variety of modalities and listen to your dreaming body and its changing modalities—auditory, visual, sensing, movement, and feeling—to listen to your symptoms and their messages. £290 Price is per person for a 2-day workshop inclusive of course materials. Download Leaflet Book Your Workshop Place Women and Weight In this 2-day workshop we will explore our unwanted excess weight and look at this from a different point-of-view. Is our weight a burden we’re forced to carry or does it hold a message from the unconscious that we need to hear? When we discuss our struggles with food and weight, we are talking not just about bodily urges but issues such as emotional appetites and wanting to be loved. Download Leaflet Book Your Workshop Place

Recognising mental health issues and then finding a counsellor sometimes isn’t an easy process. With this in mind, my website is designed to provide an understandable overview of the world of psychotherapy and counselling to help you take the first step towards a life of positive mental health. Welcome Welcome to Lynn Somerfield Psychotherapy, delivering therapy services across London and Bedfordshire. People seek support from a therapist for all sorts of reasons. You may be struggling with anxiety or depression, your relationship may be in trouble due to an affair, communication problems or family stress. Perhaps you’ve suffered a bereavement, or you have a serious illness. Maybe you struggle with OCD and it’s causing relationship and work problems, or you’re suffering from insomnia, panic attacks, or flashbacks related to a traumatic incident. You may have an eating disorder. Maybe you can’t seem to form relationships with others. Perhaps you’re anxious in relationships, or too distant. Perhaps you have a problem with dependency on alcohol or drugs, maybe even an addiction. Believe or not, none of these things is abnormal. They are the things that make us human! Recognising your own mental health issues and then finding a counsellor or psychotherapist sometimes isn’t an easy process. I have designed my website with this in mind... Over the coming pages, I have provided information to help you understand more about psychotherapy, find out more about me, my background and training, and my approach to my work. Should there be a topic I have not covered or you would like to arrange an initial consultation with me, simply contact me . I look forward to hearing from you. Reach For A Helping Hand Take your first step to a life of positive mental health Book an Inital Consultation Specialities As a transpersonal and integrative psychotherapist, I am able to support clients with a broad range of mental health worries. Below I have provided a summary of my primary specialist support areas. You can find more information by clicking through on the 'Learn More' buttons, or by simply contacting me . Abuse Issues Learn More Addiction or Dependency Learn More Anger Issues Learn More Anxiety Learn More Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) Learn More Depression Learn More Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing (EMDR) Learn More Grief & Bereavement Learn More Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Learn More Panic Attacks Learn More Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Learn More Relationships Learn More Stress Learn More The Chakras Learn More And don’t think the garden loses its ecstasy in winter. It’s quiet, but the roots are down there riotous Jalaluddin Rumi | Poetry Writings | 13th Century

Recognising mental health issues and then finding a counsellor sometimes isn’t an easy process. With this in mind, my website is designed to provide an understandable overview of the world of psychotherapy and counselling to help you take the first step towards a life of positive mental health. Thank You! Thank you for contacting me. I will endeavour to respond to you within 24 hours.